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Media Center. Getting your naked body rubbed down by a stranger during a deep-tissue massage can be somewhat erotic, whether you mean for it to be or not. Your massage therapist might accidentally rub your butt in a way that reminds you of a sexual experience that you've had, or you might get turned on by just being naked and under a sheet. It happens. Then there are those massages that are intentionally sexy and conclude with a "happy ending ," or some sort of sexual transaction.
So what if you go for one of those when you're in a relationship. Have you cheated? Mostly, it depends. You and your partner might have an understanding that having transactional experiences outside of your partnership works really well, Dr. Levkoff says. But every relationship is different, so it's difficult to frame what infidelity is and isn't unless you actually talk about it. However, you might decide together that it's something you're both okay with. There's no right or wrong answer — unless you're skipping the conversation and sneaking around.
So start with the talk. Shannon Chavez , PsyD, a clinical sex therapist, recommends going into the conversation with integrity and openness.
If you approach it feeling like you've done something wrong, your partner will pick up on it and feel concerned.
Role play or fantasy play is a great place to gauge your partner's ideas about this kind of thing, Guichet says. Tell your partner that you'd love to explore a fantasy about sex work , and then simply ask what their thoughts are about sex work or happy ending massages in general, he suggests. Or you might want to ask your partner if they've ever had an experience where a massage wound up being sexual, Dr. They might say, "Yes, and it was great" or "No, I would never do that. It's important to point out that there's a big difference between deliberately seeking a massage that ends in sexual gratification, and accidentally experiencing one, Dr.